Dining in Japan

Dining etiquette

1.  Tables and sitting

Many restaurants and homes in Japan are equipped with Western-style chairs and tables. However, traditional Japanese low tables and cushions, usually found on tatami floors, are still very common. Tatami mats, which are made of straw, can be easily damaged and are hard to clean, thus shoes or any type of footwear are always taken off when stepping on tatami floors.

When dining in a traditional tatami room, sitting upright on the floor is common. In a casual setting, men usually sit with their feet crossed and women sit with both legs to one side. Only men are supposed to sit cross-legged. The formal way of sitting for both sexes is a kneeling style known as seiza. To sit in a seiza position, one kneels on the floor with legs folded under the thighs and the buttocks resting on the heels.

When dining out in a restaurant, the host will guide you to your seat and it is polite to wait to be seated. The honored or eldest guest will usually be seated at the center of the table farthest from the entrance. In the home, the most important guest is also seated farthest away from the entrance. If there is an alcove or tokonoma in the room, the guest is seated in front of it. The host sits next to or closest to the entrance.

^2.  Itadakimasu and Gochisosama

In Japan, it is customary to say itadakimasu (lit. "I [humbly] receive") before starting to eat a meal. When saying itadakimasu, both hands are put together in front of the chest or on the lap. Itadakimasu is preceded by complimenting the appearance of food. The Japanese attach as much importance to the aesthetic arrangement of the food as its actual taste. Before touching the food, it is polite to compliment the host on his artistry. Remember also to wait for the honored or eldest guest at the table to start eating before you do. Another customary and important etiquette is to say go-chisō-sama deshita (lit. "It was a feast") to the host after the meal and the restaurant staff when leaving.

3. Hot towels

Before eating, most dining places provide either a hot or cold towel or a plastic-wrapped wet napkin (o-shibori). This is for cleaning hands before eating (and not after). It is rude to use them to wash the face or any part of the body other than the hands though some Japanese men use their o-shibori to wipe their faces in less formal places. Accept o-shibori with both hands when a server hands you the towel. When finished, fold or roll up your oshibori and place it on the table. It is impolite to use o-shibori towels to wipe any spills on the table.

4. Bowls

The rice or the soup is eaten by picking up the bowl with the left hand and using chopsticks (hashi) with the right, or vice versa if you are left-handed. Traditionally, chopsticks were held in the right hand and the bowl in the left – in fact, Japanese children were taught to distinguish left from right as "the right hand holds the chopsticks, the left hand holds the bowl" – but left-handed eating is acceptable today. Bowls may be lifted to the mouth, but should not be touched by the mouth except when drinking soup. The Japanese customarily slurp noodle soup dishes like ramen, udon, and soba. When slurping noodles quickly, the soup clings to the noodles, making the dish more flavourful.

5. Soy sauce

Soy sauce (shōyu) is not usually poured over most foods at the table; a dipping dish is usually provided. Soy sauce is, however, meant to be poured directly onto tōfu and grated daikon dishes, and in the raw egg when preparing tamago-kake-gohan ("egg on rice"). In particular, soy sauce should never be poured onto rice or into soup.

6. Chopsticks

The proper usage of chopsticks (hashi) is the most important table etiquette in Japan. Chopsticks are never left sticking vertically into rice, as this resembles incense sticks (which are usually placed vertically in sand) during offerings to the dead. This may easily offend some Japanese people. Using chopsticks to spear food or to point is also frowned upon and it is considered very bad manners to bite chopsticks. Other important chopsticks rules to remember include the following:

• Hold your chopsticks towards their end, and not in the middle or the front third.

• When you are not using your chopsticks and when you are finished eating, lay them down in front of you with the tip to left.

• Do not pass food with your chopsticks directly to somebody else's chopsticks. Only at funerals are the bones of the cremated body given in that way from person to person.

• Do not move your chopsticks around in the air too much, nor play with them.

• Do not move around plates or bowls with chopsticks.

• To separate a piece of food into two pieces, exert controlled pressure on the chopsticks while moving them apart from each other.

7. Communal dish

When taking food from a communal dish, unless they are family or very close friends, one should turn the chopsticks around to grab the food; it is considered more sanitary. Alternatively, one could have a separate set of chopsticks for communal dishes.

8. Sharing

If sharing food with someone else, move it directly from one plate to another. Never pass food from one pair of chopsticks to another, as this recalls passing bones during a funeral.

9. Eat what is given

It is customary to eat rice to the last grain. Being a picky eater is frowned on, and it is not customary to ask for special requests or substitutions at restaurants. It is considered ungrateful to make these requests especially in circumstances where you are being hosted, as in a business dinner environment. After eating, try to move all your dishes back to the same position they were at the start of the meal. This includes replacing the lids on dishes and putting your chopsticks on the chopstick holder or back into their paper slip Good manners dictate that you respect the selections of the host. However this can be set aside if you have allergies or religious needs such as a peanut allergy, or a religious prohibition against certain foods like pork.

10. Drinking

Even in informal situations, drinking alcohol starts with a toast (kanpai, 乾杯) when everyone is ready. Do not start drinking until everybody is served and has finished the toast. It is not customary to pour oneself a drink; rather, people are expected to keep each other's drinks topped up. When someone moves to pour your drink you should hold your glass with both hands and thank them.